Blog entries from The Young Curmudgeon

Those Darn Nails

The Young Curmudgeon — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:20:37 +0100

Perhaps you’ve read about one of President Obama’s first big trade policy moves: He recently imposed a tariff on Chinese tire makers.

Why? He wanted to help America’s tire industry when more American car owners are buying cheaper Chinese tires. The tariff is meant to crack down on imports that unfairly hurt American workers.

So far, so goRead More...

Our DMV

The Young Curmudgeon — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:08:50 +0100

Try calling the New Hampshire DMV. The phone number: 271-2371.

If you reach a live human being, email me. I’ll send you some swag.

I spent two days fruitlessly trying to get through during normal business hours. All that ringing, yet no one picks up.

Finally, someone picked up--a recording of someone. The friendlRead More...

Four Lovely Words

The Young Curmudgeon — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:04:46 +0100

All you can eat.

At Downtown Pizza in Portsmouth (a.k.a. the Gas Light), you can consume pizza without limits from 11:30 to 2:00 every weekday. For $7.25, choose from among five or six pizza varieties, greasy garlic sticks and a vat of gloppy mac ‘n cheese.

They throw in free soda!

There’s something so 20th centRead More...

A Tale of Two Gyms

The Young Curmudgeon — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:47:12 +0100

I’m a grudging curmudgeon. I wake up in the morning thinking, “I love people!”

Staying positive for a sec, October marks one year since I ditched an awful Portsmouth gym and joined Planet Fitness. With its low price, hard-working employees and 1,000 TVs, PF delivers. (Hey, Federal Trade Commission: I did not receivRead More...

Big Butt Toss

The Young Curmudgeon — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:54:04 +0100

While standing at the corner of South and Middle Street yesterday, I watched two drivers in a row toss cigarette butts onto the street. Both drivers were obese. (I’m not judging, just reporting.)

The butts rolled toward my feet.

You know what’s sad? Enjoying the Seacoast’s best pancakes in a scenic waterfront setting—yet still leaving the restaurant in a huff.

At Fresh Local Bayside, you put up with the sporadic service (will they bring the promised bread basket?) and overpriced menu. Why? You like the local angle--and you see how hard the staff works. They raceRead More...

Vroom Vroom

The Young Curmudgeon — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:43:49 +0100

When you stroll through Market Square, you’re surrounded by such charm. And motorcycles.

The riders don’t just park, shop and drive away like normal people. They rev up. Loudly. Then they rev up again. Loudly.

Why can’t they just buy a sweater at Serendipity or grabRead More...

Customer Non-Service

The Young Curmudgeon — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 12:28:42 +0100

I just returned from a B&B with no hot water in the shower. When I told the proprietor, he looked at me like I insulted his daughter.

“We’ve never had a problem with that shower,” he declared. “It’s good as new.”

How do you respond to that?

“Obviously, itRead More...

Pretend Peaches

The Young Curmudgeon — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 12:40:46 +0100

Perhaps you’ve noticed the sorry state of peaches lately. They’re terrible.

You would think supermarkets would reject these mealy globs of disappointment. But instead, they sell ‘em at $1.79 a pound with a straight face.

I’d like to spy on the produce manager when he decides what to foist on an unsuspecting puRead More...

The Zany Zealots

The Young Curmudgeon — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:09:38 +0100

Some local organizations hosted a healthcare forum at the Portsmouth library last night. We learned that the U.S. spent $2.4 trillion on healthcare in 2008 with relatively little to show for it.

As I’ve learned from attending campaign appearances of U.S. presidential candidates, there are three types of questioners at these events: the smart and informed, the earnest but not well informRead More...

Killer Peanuts

The Young Curmudgeon — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:48:53 +0100

There’s a new fudge place in Portsmouth. A friendly couple own and operate it.

I was so excited entering their appealing little store! But within 10 seconds of my arrival, I was aggrieved.

I greeted the proprietor and asked, “I’m allergic to peanuts. Do you…?”

Ah, summer. Barbeques. Bike rides. Beaches.

Sunny, happy joy!

But in keeping with my law of offsetting negatives, summer brings noise.

Let's start with neighborhood noise: early morning walkers (their voices carry!), lawn mowing maniacs (so little lawn, so much mowing!), 15-year-olds Read More...

Virginia's Virtue

The Young Curmudgeon — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 21:03:40 +0100

Virginia’s state flag bears the “Great Seal of the Commonwealth” which depicts a fetching Amazon goddess armed with a spear and sword. She towers over a defeated despot.

Permit me to decode this visual image for you: The goddess represents Virginia government and the cowering guy on the ground symbolizes a vanquished state employee.

The Case Against Gardening

The Young Curmudgeon — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:49:57 +0100

If you love gardening, stop reading. Go garden.

For everyone else, especially the Grudging Gardeners who grumble as they grab at weeds, what’s the matter with us?

Here’s a plan: Let’s meet for hot fudge sundaes and ditch this whole mulch-laden mess.

Gardening to growRead More...

What's the Matter With Kids Today?

The Young Curmudgeon — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:17:52 +0100

There’s a madness on the edge of town. That’s where you’ll find Market Basket.

Spend 10 minutes pushing your cart through the cramped aisles and you’ll fight off dozens of frolicking 5-year-olds. They barrel into you. They sneeze on your leg. They play tag--with you as the hapless lamppost.

It’s their private Read More...

The Truth About Dogs

The Young Curmudgeon — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:19:26 +0100

I love dogs.

Actually, I hate dogs. I said I love dogs so that you don’t hate me.

OK, here’s the truth: I’m neutral on dogs. Take ‘em or leave ‘em.

If you have a dog, I’ll acknowledge it with some cursory petting. Just don’t insist that we play Read More...

Idle Idling and Al Gore

The Young Curmudgeon — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 01:17:28 +0100

In the 30 minutes that it just took to prepare and consume my dinner, I've noticed a red minivan idling outside my window on Lincoln Avenue in Portsmouth. The driver has stopped--in the middle of the road with her engine running the whole time--to chat with a pedestrian.

I can't stand it any longer. So I march outside, apply my "Fake Friendly" personality (it doesn't fool anyone) and investigRead More...