Restaurant week always holds a place in my heart.  Loaded with risk-taking selections of recipes by chefs wrapped in a 3-course prix fixe menu, offering exceptional service, dinners with low lighting for romantic ambiance, and special pricing; it’s a must for the true Portsmouth foodie.  Held semiannually now, there’s no excuse to be missing this event, and I rarely do.

Restaurant week was celebrated among 32 participating Seacoast restaurants this fall, so it was hard to decide which of these to explore for dinner.  Then I remembered one that I had promised to visit, and tried to make my reservation.  Much to my surprise, outside of the norm, this restaurant decided to stay true to its tradition of not accepting reservations – so I made sure to get there at 5:00 p.m. on the nose.  The Common Man, having just opened in downtown Portsmouth.  I had finally arrived to scratch it off my dining 'bucket list'.

Greeted and served a drink while waiting to be seated, I was pleasantly led upstairs to take my table – menu placed in hand even before I sat.  Ultimately, there was so much to choose from at $29.95, though with two other people accompanying me, easy to share.  I started with the roasted red and golden beet warmed chevre salad, which was tangy and huge in proportion to my friend’s sweet and spicy butternut squash with coconut milk bisque, and the gorgonzola salad with candied walnuts parked on my other side.  I was lucky to be the only one loving beets and so devoured it without interruption from scavengers.  The beets were quartered and fresh, dressed appropriately, finally.  A ‘drowned’ salad is too common and my worst nightmare. 

In between our “Great Beginnings” they served us all a “Sunshine Wine Course,” which we had to choose between limoncello or homemade tart lemonade shooters to clean the palate, getting ready for the main course.  This was served ice cold, perfectly smooth and loaded with liquor.  Awesome. 

I then prepared for the Nantucket sauté, which was served piping hot.   Linguini topped with jumbo shrimp, huge scallops, mussels riming the dish, and calamari, all in a lobster cream sauce with diced steamed tomatoes, did not disappoint.  I couldn’t finish it, that is to say, I was definitely full, and still had my “Sweet Endings” coming, so I had to put my fork down and try to digest while I watched it sadly coagulate a bit.  With a meal like this, there is no taking anything home.  You either eat as much as you can, or leave hungry.  I don’t want to see this again tomorrow because it will only remind me of how full I was at the moment I said goodbye. 

I opted for a cup of coffee after having a glass of Merlot, as the inevitable arrived.  There in front of each of us was this unbelievable dessert – an enormous square shaped custardy-looking thing drizzled with some sort of sauce and higher than the bowl it was placed in.  However, it was not what I expected.  It was better.  Nothing looked or tasted like the advertised white chocolate bread pudding here, sorry to say.  But, it did taste like a butterscotch custard, the likes of no other I have ever tried!  A soft exterior, but smooth and creamy inside with intermittent homemade whipped cream making its way on my spoon as I dug deeper.  A terrific combination of sweetness that melted in my mouth.  Seriously, one of the best desserts I have had in a long time.  I am an old soul who loves custard (grapenut is my favorite), so finding one in the seacoast that rivals anything else was exciting.  Nope, not bread pudding by definition.  No bread found here. 

In toto – this meal was nothing of what I had been expecting out of an American style restaurant at all.  My friend’s flat iron steak was cooked to perfection with chimichurri and ancho chili pesto, as was the pan seared (biggest I’ve ever seen) scallops in saffron orange butter we also shared with our third party.  I was surprised and elated to find this quality of cooking from a new chain restaurant in fact.

My only complaint of the evening is that they sat us all at the top of the stairs, which had a draft, as well as being too close to the server’s station, easily overhearing the waitresses woes of the evening.  And everyone coming and going felt that needed to say something because they couldn’t walk by without locking eyes with anyone at our table.  “Goodnight,” “Hello,” or head nods enveloped the dinner. 

The old “Victory” sign left in the stairwell leading up to the second floor is a nice touch, however.  I miss the old restaurant, but hopefully something newer and better has arrived.  I’ll surely miss the Pimm’s cocktail, but hopefully there will be something to look forward to in the new bar menu – right?
 
The Common Man (Where Victory used to be)

96 State Street

Portsmouth

603-334-6225

www.thecman.com/restaurants/common-man-portsmouth/

Awards range from Best of NH 2009, Business NH Top 100, Restaurant Neighbor Award, R&I Top 75, and The Griffin Report’s Best Places to Work

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_________

Morey Stettner writes The Young Curmudgeon blog for portsmouthnh.com. He’s the author of five books including SKILLS FOR NEW MANAGERS (McGraw-Hill) and THE ART OF WINNING CONVERSATION (Prentice Hall) and the editor of Managing People at Work (www.managingpeopleatwork.com).

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Okay, we’ve all heard that eating gluten-free is the way to go, but can we give up that yummy bread?  You don’t have to if you’re eating at Anello’s Cafe.

Another of my favorite ‘hole in the wall’ places is this tasty little shop located right on Congress Street.

According to the owner and chef, Traci Anello, she has been creating award-winning pastries in the area for over 25 years.  Her “Gluten Free Cuisine” show has been broadcast nationally on the Chef Kitchen series, and her food styling has been showcased on Phantom Gourmet.  She takes pride that her restaurant is 100% gluten free, and many people I have run into that suffer from Celiac disease say they were eager for something like this to finally arrive in Portsmouth.

But what is gluten?  Gluten is the mixture of proteins we find in wheat, barley, and rye grains - eaten almost every day in fact as Americans.  Why is this bad for us?  Because gluten is actually a stabilizing additive, present in all baked/preserved foods, basically to help it stick together.  Not too appetizing at all if you realize this is basically a gum.  Gluten irritates the gut, and its damage can be very serious for some.  Ever feel really bloated after eating grains?  Well, gluten is the culprit.  I love bread and grains, but I don’t want to pay for it, so I’m trying to eat a bit more naturally, and I’m definitely feeling a difference in the way my body responds to going out for lunch.

As I sat eating in Anellos one afternoon, I watched the window adjacent my table for people spying in on the new restaurant and reading the menu taped to the glass.  Many turned away rather than opening the door, and I wondered if it was because they were stuck in the mode of thinking that something gluten-free must also be taste-free.  Not true!  On the contrary, I could not find anything more appetizing than their homemade 8” pizza covered in roasted veggies.  The very crispy crust was doused with mouth-watering fresh vegetables such as peppers, caramelized onions, red onions and broccoli.  Extraordinary.  The freshest vegetables I’ve ever had on a pizza, hands down.  Reverting back to the crust, this was simply delicious.  No taste or texture issues here.  The smell of herbs like rosemary and oil olive filling my senses.  The chicken salad was also the crispest and freshest I’ve had in a long time, topped with a creamy balsamic.

Their menu is wonderful.  There are breakfast and lunch items to choose from including bagels, muffins, egg and cheese rolls, salads, paninis, chips, signature sandwiches, flatbread pizzas (that rival or better Flatbread’s downtown), soups/chowders, quiches, and daily specials.  There are also ready-made items in their deli-case ready to be bought and consumed at home like mac and cheese, potato salad, or even blueberry cobbler bars.

We really need to support this bakery/restaurant downtown.  My worry is that it might disappear sometime soon if more patrons don’t embrace this menu.  It is hard to find parking downtown – but please try to order ahead from their menu online and then pick it up when it’s convenient for you.

Did I mention the homemade gluten-free whoopie pies?  Oh my gosh!  Rich, rich chocolate taste.  Sticky, yummy center.  I don’t think about gluten-free anything when I’m biting into one of these, I gotta tell ya.  This shop is for everyone, not just those concerned about eating gluten in their food.  It’s healthier for you and definitely does not compromise on taste or presentation.

Traci learned her craft from her Sicilian grandmother many years ago.  Her cousin is Academy Award Nominated actor Chaz Palminteri.  She also offers catered treats, wedding or specialty cakes, and private classes.  Truly a talented woman we want to keep in business here in Portsmouth.  Order your holiday pies and breads now.  Let’s all gloat, not bloat at Anellos.

Anello’s Gluten Free Café, Inc., (Near the Square)

41 Congress Street, downtown Portsmouth
603-319-8122

For business hours, see the web: www.anelloscafe.com.

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Can we celebrate that fact that even in New Hampshire, we can get pre-packaged Indian food that is actually good?  You may have noticed this bread in the bakery section of your market.  Naan is a staple food throughout India and the far east.  (More info here about the history of naan and images.)

I've only eaten it in Indian restaurants and have never made it, but I did pick up a package the last time I went food shopping.  It may change my life.

Usually, I use the lavash flatbread when making flatbread pizza or as an accompaniment to some of my vegetarian meals.  Its good,  but naan is another experice entirely.  Its more flavorful.  It stands up to heartier toppings.  Its got a really satisfying bite (can bread be al dente?)  Seriously love it. There is a whole wheat version, which has more fiber for those of you who are into that.  Its very good. You can eat it right our of the package, cold, but I recommend doing a little quick grill in a hot skillet or on your grill a minute on each side to bring out its chewy texture and savory flavor.  It will taste like you just baked it in your own tandoori oven. 

When I made at home for lunch recently, I heated it up and then topped it with the following:  a layer of red pepper hummus, chopped cucumber, chopped tomato, chopped kalamata olives and shredded romaine.  I drizzled with a few drops of olive oil, and ate it like a folded pizza.  So good.  So very good. The possibilities for naan pizza (naanza?) are only limited to what you've got hanging around in your fridge and pantry.

Next time, I make a curry I'll make a mint salsa, (olive oil, fresh mint, chopped red pepper and garlic) and use the naan as an accompaniment  with the mint there to cool it down.

 Chickpea Curry Ingredients:

• 2 cans of chickpeas drain and rinse off the packing liquid
• 2 tbsps olive oil
• 2 bay leaves
• 5-6 cloves
• 3-4 green cardamoms
• 5-6 peppercorns
• 3 large onions sliced
• 2 large tomatoes chopped
• 2 tbsps minced garlic
• 1 tbsps ginger paste (if you can find a jar of this)
• 2 tsps coriander powder
• 1 tsp cumin powder
• 1/2 tsp red chili powder
• 1/4 tsp turmeric powder
• 2 tsps garam masala
• 1"piece of ginger julliened
• 2 tbsps fresh cilantro leaves chopped fine

Preparation:

• Whiz 2 of the sliced onions, the tomatoes, ginger paste, garlic together into a smooth paste in a food processor.
• Heat the oil in a deep, thick-bottomed pan on a medium flame.
• Add the bay leaves, cloves, cardamom and peppercorns and fry for  30 seconds.
• Add the remaining sliced onion and fry till light golden. Add the onion-tomato paste and fry till the oil begins to separate from the paste.
• Add the dry spices - cumin, coriander, red chili, tumeric and garam masala powders. Fry for 5 minutes. This is a masala.
•  Add the chickpeas and gently mix.
• Add salt to taste and water to make gravy (about 1 1/2 cups).
• Simmer and cook covered for 10 minutes.
• Use a flat spoon to mash some of the chickpeas coarsely. Mix well.
• Garnish with julienne of ginger and finely chopped fresh coriander leaves.
• Serve  with white or brown basmati rice, the warm naan and mint salsa.

Chow,

Nancy lives in Seacoast NH and enjoys food, fashion and all things Mediterranean.

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‘2012' is yet another entry into the ‘end of the world' genre of films. This movie sticks closely to the now familiar pattern established by predecessors such as ‘Armageddon', ‘Deep Impact', and ‘The Day After Tomorrow'. Director, Roland Emmerich, also served as producer on the latter film and other special effects laden projects such as ‘Independence Day' and '10,000 B.C.'

The story centers on Jackson Curtis, played by John Cusack (‘Martian Child', ‘Ice Harvest', ‘Must Love Dogs'), who is a frustrated author, divorcee, and considered a bit of an under-achiever by those around him. Jackson inadvertently stumbles upon a possible government cover-up of a pending disaster and immediately tries to spirit his kids, ex-wife, and her current husband to safety. This is where the real roller-coaster ride begins as we see scene after scene of this major cataclysm unfolding.

Chiwetel Ejiofor (‘American Gangster', ‘Inside Man') plays another key character, Adrian Helmsley, a government scientist who is coordinating the findings of various other colleagues and attempting to sound the alarm over the pending disaster. Danny Glover (‘Lethal Weapon' - all of them!) does a decent job as the U.S. President. We also get a cameo by George Segal as part of an aging lounge act duo who happens to be doing a cruise ship gig at an inopportune time. The one character that is a standout has to be Woody Harrelson, who plays a conspiracy hound and underground radio broadcaster. His limited screen time is still a hoot to watch.

The special effects are over the top, to be sure, and the movie is mostly playing off of formula laid down by many previous disaster flicks with perceptible nods to ‘Poseidon Adventure', ‘Towering Inferno', and ‘Airport'. The two things that really weigh down this film are length and the relentless narrow escapes by Jackson and his group of would-be survivors. With a run time of over 2 ½ hours, the film feels a bit tedious at times. The continual harrowing escapes of the main characters become overblown and more improbable with each scene. Added attempts to build tensions actually border on annoying.

As sheer entertainment, ‘2012' certainly delivers. It's always amazing to see just how good special effects have become - especially if you like seeing things blown up. The hook missing here is the potential for any of this to actually happen. Films like ‘Deep Impact' worked because we know asteroids are really out there. In this scenario we have planet alignments, solar activity, and neutrinos - as involving a physics subject as you'd want to tackle. Coupled with some vague references to the Mayan calendar, a root cause for this end of the world scenario is just too muddied to stir an audience.  So, if your looking for plausibility, I'd leave your skepticism at the movie theater door and just go along for the ride.

Offical Web Site: 2012 Movie 

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Fall is upon us, and what a glorious fall we are having this year.  Mild, sunny days, crisp, cool nights and produce shelves erupting with gorgeous squash, gourds, pumpkins, pomegranates and apples.  Statistically, most people list fall as their favorite season. Its easy to see why; fall connotes the "hunker down," the annual nesting that we New Englanders, anyway, look forward to after a hot and humid summer (OK, back when we used to HAVE summer). In my family, I know autumn has arrived when we put the gardens to bed, chop firewood and smell that autumnal combination of forest, leaves and earth in decomposition. Sort of gross, but totally necessary.   It’s also when I start shifting away from salads and clear soups to stews and more substantial meals. In keeping with the Mediterranean philosophy of eating lots of grains and vegetables, this post is all about the mushroom.(photo courtesy of Healthy Home Harvest, LLC.)

What could be heartier, earthier and woodsier than a mushroom? Going with the whole fall/decomposition thing, fungi actually recycle dead organic matter into useful nutrients like magnesium, potassium and fiber.  For those who omit meat from their diet, mushrooms also provide a rich, meaty texture.  Recently I purchased a pound of Italian dove and oyster mushrooms from Healthy Home Harvest LLC, of Barrington and Northwood, NH,  growers of high-quality, organically-produced plants and mushrooms. One peek inside the bag was enough to give me a night’s worth of Alice in Wonderland dreams.  Those buggers were FUNKAY.

As luck would have it, I was not afforded the luxury of cooking with the beauties over the weekend and thus, had to come up with a weeknight dish that would use most of the yield; couldn’t risk the possibility of the glorious specimens going soggy on me.  I debated using them in an old Epicurious standby, beef stew with mushrooms (and a whole bottle of red wine) but decided I didn't want the mushrooms to have to compete with any meat. Instead, I found a recipe for mushroom lasagna that called for both dried and fresh mushrooms (over a pound) and a béchamel sauce.  Not a super simple dish, however, it is positively To. Die. For. Grab a hefty glass of good Spanish red, put on some music and roll up your sleeves.

 
Mushroom filling:
2 cups boiling water
1 cup dried porcini mushrooms (about 1 ounce)
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cups chopped onion
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 pound of wild mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup Côtes du Rhône or other fruity red wine
1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 teaspoons chopped fresh or 3/4 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Béchamel: 3 cups 1% low-fat milk
2 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons sifted all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Remaining ingredients: Olive oil or butter for greasing pan
1 (8-ounce) package precooked lasagna noodles
1 cup (4 ounces) grated fresh Parmesan cheese

To prepare filling, combine water and porcini in a small bowl; let stand 30 minutes. Drain porcini through a sieve over a bowl, squeezing porcini to extract liquid. Reserve 1 1/2 cups liquid; discard remaining liquid. Rinse porcini, and drain. Chop coarsely; set aside.

Heat oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add onion; sauté 5 minutes or until tender. Add garlic; sauté 30 seconds. Add wild mushrooms and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Sauté 5 minutes or until mushrooms release moisture and begin to brown. Stir in porcini, wine, and soy sauce. Cook 4 minutes or until liquid almost evaporates, stirring frequently. Stir in parsley and rosemary. Add the reserved porcini liquid; bring to a simmer. Cook until liquid is reduced to 3/4 cup (about 10 minutes). Remove from heat; stir in 1/4 teaspoon pepper.

To prepare béchamel, place milk in a 4-cup glass measure. Microwave at HIGH 3 minutes or until hot, stirring after 2 minutes. Melt butter in a large, heavy saucepan over medium heat. Add flour, stirring with a whisk, and cook 1 minute or until bubbly, stirring constantly. Gradually add milk, stirring constantly with a whisk. Bring to a simmer; cook over low heat 8 minutes or until sauce slightly thickens, stirring frequently. Remove from heat, and stir in 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon pepper, and nutmeg.

Preheat oven to 350°.

Spread 1/2 cup béchamel in bottom of an 11 x 7-inch baking dish coated with oil or butter. Arrange 3 noodles over béchamel; top with 1/2 cup béchamel. Top with 1 cup mushroom mixture. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup cheese. Repeat layers three times (dish will be very full). Cover with foil; place baking dish on a baking sheet. Bake at 350° for 30 minutes. Uncover lasagna; bake an additional 15 minutes or until cheese melts.

Chow,

Nancy Pearson

Nancy lives in Seacoast, NH and enjoys food, fashion and all things Mediterranean. 

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Try calling the New Hampshire DMV. The phone number: 271-2371.

If you reach a live human being, email me. I’ll send you some swag.

I spent two days fruitlessly trying to get through during normal business hours. All that ringing, yet no one picks up.

Finally, someone picked up--a recording of someone. The friendly female voice confirmed that I reached the NH DMV. Then she added, “No one can take your call now.”

No way to leave a message. No touch-tone options. No suggestion to send an email. It was a recording that offered nada.

Your only recourse is to hang up and wonder if it’s fairer to blame Gov. Lynch or John J. Barthelmes. He was appointed by Gov. Lynch to run the NH Department of Safety. The DMV falls under his purview.

According to the state website (http://www.nh.gov/safety/commissioner/index.html), Commissioner Barthelmes graduated from the FBI National Academy. Sir, did the FBI teach you to make it impossible for callers to report a crime?

If you live and drive in the Seacoast, you’ll eventually trek to Dover Point’s DMV office to renew your license. My advice: Shower first with deodorant soap. Coast, Irish Spring, maybe Dial.

That 35-square-foot room is so cramped with people standing and waiting that you feel like you’ve stepped onto a New York City subway car. Forced intimacy is fine when you live in Manhattan and enjoy world-class museums and Central Park splendor. But in laid-back New Hampshire, why cram dozens of people into a space that would barely fit five tuna cans?

Is it too much to ask that bureaucracies function at a C level (or maybe B-)? Here’s a better question: You know those eternally happy people who whistle all day and smile at everyone and seem to drink in life with their positive attitude and love of sunrises and moonbeams? Well, how do they cope when they can’t get through to 271-2371?

_________

Morey Stettner writes The Young Curmudgeon blog for www.portsmouthnh.com. He's the author of SKILLS FOR NEW MANAGERS (McGraw-Hill) and THE ART OF WINNING CONVERSATION (Prentice Hall) and editor of Managing People at Work (www.managingpeopleatwork.com).

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Our intrepid band of gastronomic adventurers continue their quest to discover the area’s best burger. 

 Adventure the Second: Wild Willy's Burgers

Wild Willy's Burgers, 765 Route 1, York ME

Burgers are what the Royal Burger Court are all about, and so for our second burgering adventure we ventured to a restaurant that is also all about burgers: Wild Willy's Burgers, boasting half a dozen locations throughout New Hampshire, Maine, and Massachusetts. Our quest took us to their flagship burger shack in York to see if our palates could discern what Willy’s calls “the taste derived from quality ingredients and the care taken during preparation.”

Burger Bites

(our capsule reviews -- for all the juicy details read full reviews here.)

 For full reviews, an explanation of judging categories and criteria, and more about the Royal Burger Court, visit our website.

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  Halloween is almost upon us.  I'm staring at my pumpkin - trying to figure out what to carve it into, and whether I'll just salt and broil the seeds again this year on a layer of aluminum or not...not. That's my decision. It just seems too boring this year. Call it a good weather high - I'm in the mood for this holiday and I want to experience something new. Martha Stewart suddenly popped in my head.  What would Martha do?  She makes lovely things out of the pumpkin meat, but what about the seeds?

The search was on for what to do...although even Martha seemed stumped on this one.  I did find several people thankfully on the internet in discussion groups who boil their seeds to infuse the salt within the shell - a bit gooey, reminding me of one roadside experience with boiled peanuts in Alabama - something I would rather forget.  Another person added Worcestershire sauce and cayenne pepper before roasting them, but I'm not a 'hots' type of person.  A friend of mine washed hers, placed them on a cookie sheet with oil and salt on low heat and baked them until they rounded and browned.  Even more boring. 

I finally combined two recipes for roasting that included onion powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper, sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg mixed together and sprinkled over the seeds, baked at 400 degrees for 45 minutes. No fatty butter or oil, and suprisingly - they were still scrumptious.  When in doubt, try something new I always say.  I also read that using winter squash or even watermelon seeds in the summertime work just as well with these spices.  So, this is not just a 'seasonal' idea after all. Storing these in an airtight container for a week to enjoy all week.

 Lil' ditty:

One cup of pumpkin seeds = 285 calories, 12 grams of fat (only 2 gms saturated), 12 gms of sodium (this is before you salt them of course), packing in 34 grams of carbs, and 12 grams of protein.  What it doesn't have?  CHOLESTEROL.  Yeah.  Thanks Nutritiondata.com 

According to Learninginfo.com, pumpkin seeds are actually one of nature's "almost perfect" foods.  Carbs+amino acids+unsaturated fats+vitamins C, D, E & K +calcium, potassium, niacin and phosphorus.  Amazing.  They have been known to treat bladder ailments, eliminate parasites from the intestines, help combat prostate cancer, prevent hardening of the arteries, as well as treat depression.  Sure, one handful of the slimy stuff should suffice in it's raw form.  But what happens when you roast em?  How much do they lose?  From Nutrition.about.com I found the answer: "Eating nuts and seeds is a delicious way to get some of your daily protein and healthy fats. Roasting nuts and seeds does reduce the antioxidant levels and healthy fats just slightly, but it doesn't turn nuts and seeds into unhealthy foods. For example, almonds will keep your cholesterol levels healthy whether you choose raw almonds or roasted almonds." 

Phew!  Just have to watch the sodium level then - watch those labels of your 'add-on's' people.

Gotta' get the pumpkin carving finished.  Sorry, I forgot about you, withering and rotting as I enjoy your seeds.

Happy Halloween everyone.  Just a reminder to keep nutrition in the back of your mind at all times and not on the back burner.  Eat some pumpkin seeds before you reach for the candy in your child's bag when they've fallen asleep. 

Watch for my review of 'Anello's' - coming soon!

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All you can eat.

At Downtown Pizza in Portsmouth (a.k.a. the Gas Light), you can consume pizza without limits from 11:30 to 2:00 every weekday. For $7.25, choose from among five or six pizza varieties, greasy garlic sticks and a vat of gloppy mac ‘n cheese.

They throw in free soda!

There’s something so 20^th century about this meal. It’s like stepping back in time. No food pyramid. No obesity epidemic. No worries.

The basement dining area includes an aquarium that you can admire while you gorge. Those fish may be enjoying their pellets, but they aren’t fat and happy like us.

Before you salivate onto your keyboard, here comes the bad news. You’re in a dark basement. The blaring music is so loud and grating that you yearn for Muzak at McDonald’s. And then there’s the quality of the food.

The pizza = typical buffet fare. You learned that equation in high school geometry.

I see from the restaurant’s website (www.portsmouthgaslight.com/pizza_landing.cfm) that the Rotary Club awarded it for “best cheese” in 2008 and “best specialty” in 2007. Well, I’ve been to a Rotary Club luncheon. While Rotarians do fine work in the community, they evaluate food with the same standards that jailors use to evaluate thread count for inmates’ sheets.

The mac ‘n cheese was so yellow that Dorothy would’ve gladly leapt into it and followed it home to Kansas. It was a color I hadn’t seen in food since 1978.

I was tempted to write ALL ORGANIC on the blackboard that greets arriving customers. As a tribute to Allen Funt, I’d hide a camera and catch everyone’s expression as they scrutinized the “organic” platters of sustainable nourishment bathing under heat lamps.

I didn’t see salad among the buffet items. When I asked the server what gives, he told me that the restaurant plans to lower the price of the buffet to $5.99 while adding a choice of salad, beer or cheesecake for a buck or so more. That’s so 21^st century—letting us customize our lunch. Yet I have a sinking feeling that 5% will opt for salad and the other 95% will struggle to decide between beer and cheesecake. 

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Morey Stettner writes The Young Curmudgeon blog for portsmouthnh.com. He is the author of SKILLS FOR NEW MANAGERS (McGraw-Hill) and the editor of MANAGING PEOPLE AT WORK (www.managingpeopleatwork.com).  

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